Over the last five or so years I have rediscovered a love for reading that had previously been supressed by the busyness of ‘life’.
Before I committed to being a bohemian Sensei, I had a Managing Director who was a voracious reader and seemed constantly inspired (and equally distracted) by a theory or metaphor he had recently discovered or experienced in a book.
I used to find my leaders consumption of new information a little intimidating. At the time my daughter was a toddler, my son was in the early years of school, the house needed decorating and of course the day job had to be done.
In comparison to my boss, I quite simply could never find the time for books and new information.
I was simply ‘getting by’ on the experiences and knowledge I already had, and it is only now that I realise how that made me anxious and uninspired.
As I reflect on how I was working and feeling in late 2019 I realise that in many ways I was ‘treading water’ or ‘ticking over’. I wasn’t really going anywhere at the time professionally or otherwise. I was just existing, keeping ‘my head above water’ and sustaining my lifestyle and that of my family with the knowledge, experience and reputation I had earnt to that point.
My MD was so passionate about books and reading that I remember him comparing the magic of reading to the ability to download and upgrade skills and knowledge demonstrated by Neo, Keanu Reeves character in the classic movie ‘The Matrix’. (“I know Kung Fu”).
Around the springtime of 2019 I started receiving Amazon parcels of books on strategy or sales in a presumed attempt by my then boss to share a recent eureka or perhaps inspire some innovation in my work.
These gifts made me uncomfortable, and I felt a pressure, expectation and inherent judgement when they arrived through the door. I was simply too busy to appreciate this or commit to the reading and absorption of the information.
But was I really?
September the 11th 2019 was the last time I was able to spend an evening with my dad out of the house doing something together. His Cancer had once again become aggressive and before he embarked on the trial medication prescribed, we had the opportunity to watch the ‘Illegal Eagles’ who are an incredible tribute act at the Ferneham Hall in Fareham.
Dad wasn’t a massive Eagles fan, but I had been influenced by my uncle’s music tastes growing up and it’s no surprise that listening to tunes like ‘Take it Easy’ or ‘Lying eyes’ in his silver ford capri has influenced both my taste in music and cars forever since.
Dad had treated me to the tickets, and we had a wonderful evening.
I believe the human sub conscious is a very powerful force and a phenomenon that I do not truly understand. However, when I notice that my subconscious brain is nudging my thoughts or feelings I try to pay attention.
A few weeks ago, I felt the random need to find and purchase the Eagles documentary on DVD. It used to be on Netflix, but it left the platform many years ago. I found it from a supplier in the states and it arrived a week or so ago. It was only when I watched it this week that I realised the relevance of September and the Eagles and the last evening out I spent with my Pops!
I paid attention to this and pondered what could my subconscious be trying to offer up for consideration.
I believe the human brain is not too dissimilar in principle to the operating system in our computers. Certainly, when you consider Random Access Memory (RAM) I can identify many parallels.
A quick web search provided the following definition of Ram:
‘a computer's short-term memory that stores data the processor needs to run applications and open files. RAM is a type of volatile memory, meaning it loses its contents when the computer is turned off’.
Personally, I am old enough to remember the frustrations of lesser powered computers when having such a device in your home was a luxury. If you had too many applications open your device would slow and lock up or eventually crash! The only solution was to close some apps down or ‘reboot’.
In reflection I rebooted five years ago. Dads’ health and the implications it carried took me to the limits of my capacity and RAM. I finished work in the October, and it does not seem possible that will soon be five years ago.
Without the immediate pressures of work, I suddenly found time to read again which I now realise was so important as I navigated loss and grief.
Information and knowledge are fuel …. Fuel to move on!
Last weekend I had the privilege of hosting Aidan Trimble Sensei at the dojo for the fourth year running since we emerged from the lockdown chaos. Aidan should need no introduction but for those reading outside of the karate world a quick google search will reveal that he is a former karate world champion, an actor, ferocious fan of karaoke and a successful author of many karate books.
Part of the joy of hosting these courses is that in addition to the excellent training I get to spend time with Sensei and benefit from his wisdom, anecdotes and sense of fun.
I first trained with Aidan in 2005 and once when I was his demonstration partner in 2010, he liberated a sleeve from my karate suit whilst throwing me in a bunkai application. That moment demonstrated Aidan’s prowess, fun and humility. It was an accident but a consequence of his ability, he apologised but he didn’t need to.
I learnt a great deal from his example that day.
This year’s course was a big success.
We had excellent numbers with guests coming from the Isle of Wight and as far north as Blyth in Northumberland (Thanks Juli and Steve 😊). We worked on Kokutsu Dachi (back stance) drills in the fundamental class, Ninjushi-Ho and bunkai in the kata class and Ura Mawashi (reverse roundhouse) kicks in the kumite hour. The day flew by!
Aidan’s manner in the dojo and outside are the same. He is relaxed and friendly. He has nothing to prove and is very relaxed. Consequently, I thoroughly enjoy his company and so do our students.
For myself and other on the course Aidan’s contribution provided fuel and inspiration for our ongoing studies and immediate work. Just like the content of a book a great course can help drive us all forward.
We can all find reasons or excuses as to why we cannot train or make time to read and invest in ourselves. Personally, I try to catch myself in these moments and ask whether my reason is really an excuse?
I now realise I was no busier in 2019 than many others in the world, I was simply overwhelmed, and it was all about priorities. I just needed a reboot.
It has become a tradition that Aidan and I visit the Goodwood revival together after our course. This year Aidan went the extra mile in full RAF fighter pilot style complete with leather flying helmet and overalls.
I enjoy the nostalgia of the revival which provides a glimpse of the past and its elegance but is managed and organised with the technology and processes of the modern world. What always amazes me is that people are willing to risk priceless historic racing cars on the wet track and will keep pushing forward and going for the win.
Again, I see parallels here with karate, especially the pursuits of some older practitioners.
Particularly me heroes!
So, with the image of racing those classic cars in my head I reflect on a piece of stoicism I discovered recently in my reading.
Stress is living in the past while Anxiety is living in the future.
Happiness and Balance are discovered in the NOW!
Next weekend our team steps up once again to compete this time at the GB open in Birmingham.
My brief is to approach this event one point at a time, one technique at a time, without focus on winning or losing.
We must trust the process and our training.
In the words of the Eagles,
‘Take it to the limit ….. one more time’!
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